Satan is still the accuser....he isn't going anywhere.

I woke up this morning in a horrible mood.   I'm having problems with my son, and its taking its toll mentally.
I find myself wondering what I could have done differently and how did I screw things up so bad?
Guilt and sadness was weighing me down this morning.

The messages in my mind were non stop....What a bad mom you are.  Is this the way you teach your child how to act? How could you not see what was going to happen?  Do you not know how to discipline? Can't you control your own child?  This is what you get!  My son hates me.  You screwed up your own life, why not screw his up too?

The enemy was on the attack this morning, and he wasn't letting up.   If I'm honest about it, I can say he's been attacking my family for the last several weeks.

Even after all I've learned, I still find myself under attack and sometimes I don't even realize it.  He still works on conquering any confidence I have in myself.   I still find that he makes me afraid and makes me question anything I've learned.  There are days I even question my own commitment to God, and I have days where I just beat myself up like I did this morning.

One of my friends always says "He is not creative in his attacks, but he is very effective"   She is so right.
He makes you feel ridiculous, he mocks you, belittles you, makes you feel ignorant, and even makes you question the very word of God.   There has been times where I've had myself convinced I'm just one of those people who don't fit into the church scene.


John 8:44  "He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him.  When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.


Recognizing the accuser is a challenge for me even to this day.   He is relentless and doesn't give up.
The more you walk in Christ, the more he attacks.   I have no idea where I read this statement, but I have always remembered it.  "The accuser is grieved when you seek to rebuild your life in Christ."

I think its time for some serious prayer and surrendering it all to Him. I've been so ready to just give in to my recent circumstances, and be done with it.  I've been so tired and worn down and was feeling defeated already.  Perhaps this blogging thing is good for me.  God speaks .. I just have to learn to listen, and keep trusting His word.